southeast asia

A Rant About Vietnam: Parenting

I’ve lived in Vietnam for just less than 3 months now. I feel as though I’m getting used to the craziness that this country has to offer. I’ve seen a lot since my first afternoon stroll, when I saw a man drunkenly fall while getting up from a beer can covered table and then getting on a scooter and driving away. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed the insanity, even when my survival is being compromised, but I really can’t stand watching a parent risk their child’s life by putting them on a scooter.

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Buying a Motorcycle in Vietnam

Motorbikes, motorcycles, or scooters are a huge part of the the culture in Vietnam. They are great on fuel, they keep the roads from becoming too congested, they’re like mobile aircons. Yes, it is a bit scary at first, but you should really consider buying a motorcycle in Vietnam if you’re moving, or even planning a long trip to the country. I love to walk, but in Vietnam it’s too damn hot and the sidewalks are too cluttered with bikes, stalls, and holes. The public transportation system in cities like Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City are not great. They’re limited, often packed, stifling, and not very convenient. Hands down, a motorcycle is the best way to get around. Unless you know you’re going to be in Vietnam for a really long time, I recommend buying a used bike because they are cheap, easy to repair, and they don’t attract as much attention from the infamous Vietnamese police

Beef stall at a Vietnamese market — Beef stall at the market.

I consider myself a bit of a meat connoisseur. I worked in the meat department of a grocery store from the age of 16-21… some of the best years of my life — not really.

If You’re Not Working in Vietnam, What the Hell are you Doing There?

I’ve met a lot of people since moving to Vietnam – both Vietnamese who want to practice their English, and expats (the word we use for immigrants that are white) – and it’s usually assumed that I’m a teacher. Where do you teach? You teacher? So, you must be the new teacher at such-and-such a school. I’m getting a bit tired of having to tell them that I’m not a teacher, but what’s even more tiresome is trying to explain that I’m not working in Vietnam. At least, not in the traditional sense.

A Rant About Vietnam: Saving Face

Vietnam has taken me on a roller-coaster ride since I’ve been here. There’s the ups and the downs, but the ups usually take longer — you know, like how a roller-coaster slowly ascends. click. click. click. And then, when it gets to the top and goes over that hump, it’s a quick exhilarating drop that only lasts a second. Well, Vietnam is like that. The ‘ups’ are longer, and the ‘downs’ only last a little while. But I guess the whole exhilaration thing kind of screws up my metaphor. Vietnam is like a box of chocolates… No. What I’m trying to say is, don’t think that I hate living in Vietnam just because I rant about it. I love it here, but I have to get my frustrations out somehow, and if you ask anyone living here if they have frustrations they will tell you, “Yes, yes I freakin do”.

Southeast Asian hipster — Southeast Asian Hipster

I’m not a hipsterologist or anything — in fact, I once thought being hipster, scenester, and emo were all the same thing (an hour long rant set me straight). However, I did live in Toronto, Canada for about 8 years, and… Well, if you live at the zoo, you’re going to learn about animal behavior. Most of my hipster behavioral studies courses have taken place at cafes or restaurants, so I think I’ve got a pretty good sense of their eating habits. Since moving to Vietnam and having the chance to study an entirely new race of people, I have found some interesting similarities to the hipster race. I’ve decided to break it all down and see who eats more hipster – the Vietnamese or the hipsters. Lace up your Cons, this shit’s on.

A Rant About Vietnam: Everything is so Cheap…ly Made.

Vietnam is great. If you get the chance to come here, do it. The people are friendly. The food is amazing. It’s exciting and challenging and rewarding. Sometimes it makes me want to put on a hockey skate and stomp a puppy. To stop myself from doing that, I must vent. That’s why this article exists. Consider one week’s worth of puppies saved (at least from me — I can’t save the ones that will end up on a Vietnamese dinner plate).

A Rant About Living in Vietnam: The Driving

Of course, I have to preface this article by saying that I love Vietnam. I am enjoying living here and I am excited about what’s to come. Everyday I see something new, and everyday I feel a stronger connection to the country. That being said, it’s sometimes an extremely frustrating place to live. It’s difficult to stay positive when something goes wrong. In Vietnam, when it rains it pours — both literally and metaphorically. So here goes a bit of a rant. Let this be a warning to someone who is considering a move to Vietnam, but mostly let this be a therapeutic exercise for me — cause there’s a history of people losing their shit in ‘nam.

How to find a house for rent in Vietnam and not get ripped off in the process

On our first trip to Vietnam, Sara and I loved it so much that we decided to move there. It’s been 3 weeks and we have finally found a place to live. We move into our first Vietnamese home tomorrow. Finding a house for rent in Vietnam was a difficult task, but we did it. Here’s how.

If you are in Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh City there are a few services for expats that will help you find a place to live. They’re usually nice houses or apartments that are furnished and have western amenities. However, if you know where to look it’s possible to find a rental for much cheaper, and the adventure in finding it will make it that much more special.

Books and Movies to get you Pumped for your Trip to Vietnam

There’s a ton of entertaining books and movies about Vietnam. Before you pack your bags, why not watch a few films and read a few books. You’ll not only learn something about the country, but you’ll also get yourself psyched for your travel adventures. Here’s some recommendations from me. Full disclosure: the links will take you to Amazon where you can buy the product. If you do happen to buy it through our link, we make a little bit of money at no cost to you.

Vietnam: The Ten Thousand Day War

Get my guide to Vietnamese food with over 75 dishes.

Vietnam is a fantastic place for budget travelers. It offers beaches, bustling cities, small mountains, limestone karsts, fantastic food, possibly the best coffee in the world, and much much more. We managed to budget travel Vietnam for under $20/day. That includes hotels, buses, food, everything. Click on a city to read more about our adventures there, or scroll down to see a breakdown of the costs. We enjoyed Vietnam so much that we moved there. We hope you enjoy it too.

More than an Eye Sore: The Darker Side of Travel

Sara and I sat down on the patio of a fairly nice café and ordered two Laos coffees. Something in me sparked at the thought of the black liquid. Probably an addiction. I resisted the urge to scratch at my eye, which was swollen practically shut from a mosquito bite received a few days earlier. Over Sara’s shoulder a young busboy piled up some plates. Before taking them inside, he walked over to a planter that held some beautiful orange flowers. Pulling the front of his pants down, he plopped his dick out and squirted six seconds worth of piss into the planter, then flipped his dick back into his pants and took the plates inside. Where’s that waitress with my coffee?

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